Gargoyles Gone Wild: Eyewitness Tales of Winged Weirdos

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Introduction and Episode Overview

Kenny: Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Enter the Rift podcast, season two, episode two. I'm your host, Kenny. Joining me, Es mi Hermano Garrett.

Garrett: Hello,

Kenny: And today on this episode, we are going to be talking about gargoyles. Those things you see on the sides of cathedrals, except these ones are real and they're coming for you.

Garrett: not in a sexual way or are they? No. Although some of you freaks are probably into that. This is the internet. If it exists, somebody is confusingly aroused to it.

Kenny: rule 34.

Garrett: Don't Google it.

Kenny: Anyway, moving on.

Garrett: a wholesome, this is a [00:01:00] disclaimer. Do not do not look it up. If you are still pure, guard yourself.

Do not be corrupted by the internet. with All it's autism.

Kenny: Oh my God, anyway, moving on back to the topic here.

The Legend of La Gargouille

Kenny: Uh, so we're going to go all the way back to seventh century France Based on this legend.

There was a village that was being terrorized by La Gargouille, which in the description of the legend is much more of like a, kind of like a dragon, not so much what you think now when you hear the term gargoyle. So in this village, it would, um, Lagargui would terrorize it. And then it eventually got to the point where it demanded a sacrifice every year for the, uh, to keep it appeased.

It wanted. You know, Virgin Maidens, as all these legends go. Uh, but what the village did was like, You know, [00:02:00] maybe we'll just dress up this convicted criminal that we were gonna put to death anyway, And we'll just feed it to the gargoyle. So that's what they did. For a while. It didn't notice it, so it seemed to work.

Uh, and then, Eventually, Saint Romanus came, And he said to the town, Hey, um, I can subdue this creature and so

Garrett: he said it just like that, too. Hey, uh, guys, I can, uh, I can take care of this problem. Just, uh, send me some paper.

Kenny: that's not very saint like, but anyway, he and a, oh my god, uh, anyway, he and a condemned criminal went to the cave where La Gargouille was said to reside, and then, of course, they stumbled upon the creature. And he pulled out a giant gold cross and he subdued the monster. [00:03:00] He and the criminal brought the creature back to the village where they condemned it to die by burning at the stake.

Now this was supposedly a fire breathing creature, so when they burned the creature to death, the only thing that was left was its neck and its head. They, because it was so used to the heat from the flames, it survived. after their triumph, they took the head and the neck of the creature and mounted it to the church of the village as a giant trophy of saying like, you know, this is what happened. the evil monster is now vanquished. And now that's the legend of where modern gargoyles or architectural gargoyles Came from so that's why that is so the legend of why you see in all these like gothic cathedrals all these monsters That are called grotesque chimeras. It's like a bunch of Different parts [00:04:00] you see on a monster Put together and the actual architectural function of the gargoyles is basically a water spout to keep rain from being on the walls for too long You So that the walls don't erode as fast.

Architectural features were actually inspired by real creatures?

The Demon Leaper of Louisville

Kenny: , that was back in 7th century France, looking for cases that would be a little bit more recent, , the oldest I found was back in the 1880s in Louisville, Kentucky. And this is the story of the Demon Leaper.

Garrett: So, essentially, this is the Kentucky's version of Spring Hill Jack.

Kenny: Kind of. Yeah, it's very similar and it's around the same time period.

Garrett: Ooh, what if it's the same thing? Oh, the world will never know. All that shit.

Kenny: so there was a Victorian gothic church built on Walnut Street and [00:05:00] this is a creature that was supposed to be said to be like bat like with leathery skin wings and claws and was seen to be hopping around and jumping and leaping from Rooftop to rooftop, hence the name, the Demon Leaper.

But the Demon Leaper kind of terrorized, , people in the downtown area. There was lots of sightings. , some people thought it was like an agile monkey. Other people said it was a guy wearing a suit. But, if it's like the 1880s and something's jumping from rooftop to rooftop, I don't think it's a dude in a suit.

Garrett: More than likely not. Yeah, because this is Louisville, Kentucky, so We're not talking fire escapes and parkour videos like we've seen in the early 2000s on YouTube.

Kenny: Right.

Garrett: isn't like the early internet craze of, you know, parkour and, uh, urban exploration. This is [00:06:00] 1880s Louisville, Kentucky.

Kenny: Yeah, so who knows what that actually was, but probably not just some dude.

Garrett: Yeah, although the import of exotic animals was a thing, so for all we know, could've just been some crazy bat shit dude who was like, You know what I could really have for a pet right now? It's gonna sound crazy, but I say it's a good idea. A baboon. I heard about it from this guy at the pub and it sounds pretty cool.

Kenny: Oh my god. Just strap some wings on it and there you go.

Garrett: he's like, so I've been working on this thing. It's called a hang glider. And I got this monkey. So I, uh, I took some pine pitch and kind of smacked it on its back to this old parasail and I threw it off a roof. And it kind of started running. So, it got away.

Kenny: And thus the legend of the Demon Leaper was born

Garrett: all it took was a baboon, some [00:07:00] bailing twine and an umbrella.

And a legend was born.

NASA Gargoyle Encounter

Kenny: If we move about a hundred years in the future, a little over a hundred years to 1986, this is where things start to get a little bit more interesting and where sightings of what, if you just hear the word gargoyle, this is more of what you would think of, like with the stone statues, so people are starting to see things like this.

One of the biggest sightings that made its rounds. I should say Was the NASA gargoyle or it's also called the Houston gargoyle so this story happened to NASA archivist Frank Shaw and it happened on a windy night in 1986 and So, at the end of his shift, Frank Shaw was heading to his car, and he happened to look up at one of the massive buildings at the NASA base in Houston. And he said what he saw was a bizarre creature that was jet black in color and had huge [00:08:00] bat like wings that reminded him of a gargoyle.

He froze in place while this beast was staring at him. Shaw reported that he felt like the creature was actually enjoying the fear and panic he was experiencing. After a moment, the gargoyle spread its wings, and then with each kind of wing beat, he could hear each flap of the wing with , a crackling sound, and it flew off into the night after a while. So Shaw rushed home. He let his family know what he saw. But his family felt that, you know, maybe you didn't see what you thought you did. It's probably for the best that he kept quiet about this, but the story just kept eating away at him. And eventually he spoke to one of his supervisors at work about it.

And supposedly the supervisor informed him that he wasn't the first one to report such things. So they, [00:09:00] they've already been dealing with this thing for a little while. They've just been keeping it on the down low. And in fact, that there's a file that was made to track all of these sightings of the gargoyle and that Shaw's report followed the death of two German shepherds at the NASA center. And before leaving this meeting with his supervisor , the supervisor warned Shaw to keep quiet about the incident. So this incident was reported to, , the paranormal researcher, Nick Redfern back in 2006 by, , Frank Shaw's daughter. So after this was reported, Frank had already passed. So who knows?

How true this is. I really don't know. It's just like a second hand story. but He was just leaving work one day and he [00:10:00] looked up and there was this bat like humanoid Gargoyle creature looking and just watching him and I think it's weird how that it seemed to be enjoying all the fear that Frank was experiencing

Garrett: Okay. So it sounds very similar to, like, the sightings of the, Chicago Mothman in O'Hare Airport. It sounds very similar to that, it seems. Especially with the whole like, he mentioned it to his supervisor and the supervisor, you know, related back to him that yeah, you're not the first and it's been like a reoccurring event.

Kenny: Yeah. It's a little odd. And then, , Nick Redfern's book, , the monster book around page 308, he even likes relays the story again. And he, and in that book, he calls it like the Houston moth man.

Garrett: oh cool.

Kenny: So yeah, I don't know what it is with these, uh, winged humanoids, but it's a little weird.

Minnesota Gargoyle Sighting

Kenny: If we move then to a eyewitness account that this one [00:11:00] happened in Minnesota. So this happened to, , Renee Rude back when she was a small girl around 8 or 9 years old. And this was around 1976. So back then her mom and stepfather, , they would take drives. A lot at night just for something to do and one night while she was driving, , she was just walking, looking around the at the window and she saw this creature.

She said, while I was driving along, I saw a creature that looked like this. And she has a picture of a pretty typical statue of a gargoyle. She said it was crouched high in a half dead oak tree that stood on the bank of a pond. The moon was full or close to it, and the wind was still. I had enough time to see the creature, look for its reflection in the polished mirror of water beneath it, and then look back up to confirm what I was seeing. [00:12:00] I suppose I was wondering if it was a weirdly contorted part of the tree itself. Then the damn thing moved. At first I thought it was going to dive into the pond, but then I realized it was just turning away from the road. As we set past it, I twisted around in my seat to keep it in sight. I swear its eyes flared red in our taillights.

Then I saw it had wings floated down its back. She says, I estimated it to be about the size of a large dog or a small goat, though the shape was wrong. It was holding itself in a hunched, compact, almost huddled position. He had arms and legs shaped like those of a monkey or a lemur, but much thicker and bulkier.

Garrett: See, told ya, it's a baboon that's been duct taped to a parasail. Ha ha ha ha

ha ha.

ha.

Kenny: she goes, A primate of some sort seemed most likely, but I was puzzled because its body didn't look furry, but rather tough and scaly like an alligator

Garrett: Shaved monkey with alopecia. And, ha ha ha ha ha, and psoriasis. With duct tape.

Kenny: [00:13:00] and then I, Oh my god.

Garrett: hoo, ha ha.

Kenny: then she says, Then when I caught a glimpse of its wings. I thought they looked like a bat. And then she goes, of course, I tried to tell mom and my stepdad I've seen something, but when I described it, they chuckled and refused to go back to look for for it so yeah, another case of where this is, , this is how a lot of these sightings seem to be is like, they're very short. They only last for a couple of moments and then they kind of disappear. But it's, this one was definitely much more like your typical Gargoyle of like that you think of, but you see statues of, , is it misidentification?

Who knows? The author even thought maybe she could be misidentifying it. And she, she wanted to make sure she wasn't just seeing like, you know, part of the tree that she

thought was a creature, but then the thing

Garrett: moved.

We've all been driving early in the morning or late at night and has like come across like, okay You're going around a turn on a [00:14:00] country road and then you see like a gnarled up old tree and at first you're like What the hell is that? Especially around rural areas like particularly where I live I mean you'll go around with a blind turn on a hill and somebody has a reflector, you know on a tree You know, so you don't , well kiss it going fitty and Yeah, sometimes those will freak you out, especially if, you're real tired or possibly, being unresponsible and under the influences of substances while driving.

Uh, but, uh, yeah, every once in a while, you'll have one of those sphincter clenching moments and then you're like, what is it? What is it? And then, , oh, it's a bicycle reflector laying next to a tree.

Kenny: Yeah.

Rockford, Illinois Gargoyle Sighting

Kenny: Continuing on with these sightings in the Midwest, if we go to 1999 in Rockford, Illinois. So this sighting was reported on phantomsandmonsters. com. So this incident occurred during the summer in the early evening when there was a full moon. So there's another little connection there. [00:15:00] The trio was relaxing on the friend's front porch, which was located on Willard Avenue near Auburn High School and Cottonwood Airport in Rockford, Illinois. During a conversation, the friend stopped talking and began to stare across the street. The witness looked in the same direction and noticed a dark gray winged humanoid slowly flying near a large tree.

The witness stated that it seemed like the being was in slow motion as it glided towards the tree. The friend said, do you see that? The witnesses were close enough to notice that it had small cat like ears and intense red eyes. There were no other facial features visible. They said it was quite muscular throughout the body and had two defined legs and that had arms attached to the wings.

She stated that the winged humanoid was seven feet in length with a wide wingspan.

The wings were like those of a bat with a leather like membrane. Apparently the being perched in the tree, but again, took flight. This is [00:16:00] whe the witness's husband took notice. The winged being is gliding towards a pair of large pine trees as its legs were kicking up and down while in flight, the being flew between the two pine trees and then suddenly vanished. The witness said gargoyle, and then her friend acknowledged, yes, a gargoyle. , after the incident, the witness stated that they seemed to have forgotten the encounter until a year later, when she asked her friend if she remembered the sighting. Her friend said yes she had, but had also forgotten the incident, until that point.

Garrett: You just casually just like, look over at your friend and, hmm, gargoyle. Yeah, gargoyle. I know I said both women, but yeah, grizzled. I'm just imagining like two old timers sitting on a porch, smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee, just looking out there and going gargoyle. Yeah.

Kenny: Yeah, because you imagine like you're just chilling and on your porch and you look over and you see that thing across the street [00:17:00] perched in a

Garrett: Yeah. And then you just go about your day. Like nothing happened. Apparently you forget about it for like a year. Just. Oh yeah. You remember that one time? Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. Big flying thing. Yeah. It looked like a monkey with a Paracel duct taped to it. Yeah. Yeah.

Kenny: But yeah, I thought that was pretty, pretty interesting besides how apparently nonchalant they were. Two things that I thought were pretty interesting on this case is one that it's arms were attached to the wings. So it's not like. The other sightings of gargoyles where the wings are separate from the arms.

This one was much more, I guess, bat like in that, like how an actual bat is. And

Garrett: It was just a dude who got onto his M PIC. He was just onto his M PIC. He had some loose skin. He took a staple gun, flying squirrel. Just went for it. Just went

Kenny: Oh, my God. But yeah, I thought that one was interesting.

Garrett: Especially, uh, my favorite part still with this is just a casual, Mmm, yeah, Gargoyle.

Kenny: Just [00:18:00] looking over and there it is.

Garrett: And then just later on, like a year later, just like, Oh yeah! Remember that time we saw that thing? It was just like Huh, yeah, haven't thought about it. It's just like, yeah, casual, just, You know what? I do remember that. Just like, hey, you remember that one time our buddy slipped down and fell and we all laughed at him?

, like in high school? Like, yeah, I remember that. It was just casual. Just like, yeah, bring up, like, So, you know what I was thinking about earlier today? You remember that time when we saw that giant flying bat creature? Just, You know, as one does,

Kenny: As one does

Garrett: Most stories it's almost more believable because they're so nonchalant about it because every story you read on the internet or listen to on podcast or Whatever media you're consuming at the time and they're always like oh And it flew over the car and I was so terrified.

It was just like Yeah, I looked over, I saw it, it was flappin and it looked pretty weird. It almost looked like a, like a monkey with a frickin bunch of duct tape and an umbrella to it. But yeah, I [00:19:00] just mentioned it to my buddy and, and he, he was like, Yeah, I saw that too, and then we didn't talk about it for like a year.

Haha, so, so, you know, just As one does.

Kenny: Oh my God.

Jolet, Illinois Gargoyle Sighting

Kenny: So our next case is also still in Illinois, and this one took place in Jolet Jolet

Garrett: Gillette Toilet. Haha. Sounds like a shithole. It's Illinois.

Kenny: in, um, this, this took place in, uh, 2010, so I believe I may have seen one about 10 years ago in Far West Jolet. It was about. 2:00 AM end of March, beginning of April, I was watching TV with the window open slightly. I kept hearing a muffled cry, almost like a woman crying in the distance.

Garrett: It's Illinois. It happens. Just a distant scream. AHHHHH! HELP! HELP! Yeah, this is Chicago. It's fine. It's fine. Close the window. I don't want you to listen to that bitch yapping.

Kenny: [00:20:00] my God. I kept hearing a muffled cry, almost like a woman crying in the distance. I finally decided to take a look and see what it was. I was looking all over the backyard and neighboring yards, but didn't see anything. When I was about to give up, I heard it again. I noticed that it was coming from above me.

I looked up and noticed something about four feet tall sitting on the peak of the house behind me. I grabbed my phone to take a picture, but when I was about to take a picture, it turned its head to look at me. It scared the crap out of me. Then it dropped like it fell.

Right before it hit the ground, its wings came out and it swooped away. I couldn't believe how big the wingspan was.

Garrett: Well, how big was the wingspan? mmm Well, roughly, it looks like two Dollar General umbrellas ha haha ha

Kenny: oh my

god.

The wingspan was reportedly around 10 to 12 feet long. Which, if you remember,uh from last episode where we were speaking about the man bat, the Wisconsin man bat, [00:21:00] which there seems to be a lot of similarities, the man bat, which there seems to be a lot of similarities, which there seems to be a lot of similarities, With this in that regard is that it's wingspan was also about 12 feet and the reports, they all seem to be about six to nine feet in length, like height wise.

So, are what people seeing as these gargoyles, is it just a smaller, immature man bat? Is it the same creature? Who knows.

Garrett: Or is it possibly A monkey with umbrellas duct taped to it Or a crackhead who also may have items duct taped to him Ha ha ha ha ha Perhaps some trash bags Maybe an old trench coat he got at the Goodwill One may never know

Kenny: Okay. So.

Strange Encounter in Butler, Pennsylvania

Kenny: If we move forward a year, um, to 2011, this took place in Butler, Pennsylvania. So this is on phantoms and monsters, as well as the last two stories [00:22:00] were. , so this report, , was sent originally to researcher Stan Gordon, and then, , the report was also given to Lon Strickler. On March 21st, 2011, I was contacted by a witness who reported having an encounter with a very strange creature during the early morning hours of March 18th, 2011.

This incident occurred on a rural road in Butler County between Takora and East Brady. The witness, a businessman passing through the area, stated that this was one of the freakiest things I've ever saw, and it made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

The man told me that he was driving down the road, when from about a quarter mile away, he observed something on the right side in a grassy area. His first thought that it was a deer, the driver stepped on the gas to move closer to get a better view,

Garrett: Might be a deer. Gun it!

Kenny: Yeah.

Garrett: Yeah, might be a deer. Looks a little like, hmm, [00:23:00] does it have chronic wasting disease? I don't know. Let's hit the accelerator and run up on the animal that might be skittish and run in through your way.

Kenny: Right.

Detailed Description of the Creature

Kenny: He observes, when he got from about 50 yards away, he observed something that appeared to be hunched down, and then stood up. The driver then observed a very tall, muscular

creature. At this point, the driver had his high beams on and watched as the creature walked in front of a yellow reflective road sign, then crossed the two lane road in three long steps and continued into a wooded area.

What he saw was a humanoid figure that stood at least eight feet tall that appeared to have smooth, leather like skin that was either a darker tan or a light brown color. The creature never looked at the witness and was only observed from its side. The head appeared to be flat in the front section and then rounded out at the top of the back of the skull.

It was like one of those aerodynamic helmets. The top was not quite a point, but looked like a ridge on the top of [00:24:00] the head. The face was flat and the eyes were not clearly defined, but the man thought that he might have been pointed in the corner, the ear that was observed on the left side was long and flat and came up and back and was pointed backwards.

It's like a flap. The arms were muscular and a little longer than that of a human. The hands looked more like a claw, but the number of fingers was unclear. One physical trait that stood out were the extremely muscular legs. The witness stated that it was hard to explain, but the legs did not move like that of a human, and they looked like they bent backwards.

Garrett: Ew.

Kenny: The witness also saw what appeared to be wings on its back, which were tucked into its body. With the wingtips extending towards the side of its head. There were no unusual sounds or smells noticed during the observation, which was estimated to have been about seven to eight seconds long.

As the motorist approached the location where the creature entered the woods, it could no longer be seen. [00:25:00] The next day, the witness decided to drive back to the location of the encounter to look for any evidence. The ground conditions weren't suitable for tracks and nothing was found. The witness did however measure the road sign that the creature walked in front of.

The sign was just over eight feet high, and the head of the creature was estimated to reach about four inches above the sign. So this one is a little different because, one, this one was actually noted to be walking, and two, like, yeah, it's about like one to two feet taller than what is typically depicted. And it's, the color is a little different. A lot of the other ones seem to be black or gray. And this one's like a light tan to a darker Brown color.

So that's a little interesting.

Speculations and Theories

Garrett: yeah Now, was this sighting during the day?

Kenny: Yeah.

Garrett: Well, I mean, did the other ones mention time at all?[00:26:00]

Kenny: The others have been , in the evening to at night. And this one was in the early morning.

Garrett: So, I, I, well, I could see possibly, if under low lighting conditions, something that was like a, um, kinda like an ashy tan color, appearing darker.

Kenny: True. Sometimes low light does mess with your colors and how you

Garrett: Plus, maybe he just needs lotion. Maybe he's, you know, just a little ashy. You never know. Maybe it's just that crackhead I said about earlier with the trench coat and some duct tape. He, he just didn't have lotion on.

Kenny: And he had those stilts on, that's why the guy thought he had like the weird, the weird spring stilts and that's why he thought his legs bent backwards.

Garrett: Yeah. See, now I could actually see that, something like this happening. Okay, let me paint this picture. , you are, let's see. Uh, you're in A, a very rural area, where you'll see this. Or B, you'll possibly be within a major metropolitan area. , [00:27:00] so, , picture this, hear me out. , a crackhead with drywall stilts.

Standing around, smoking crack as one does, , while in a old London Fog rain jacket.

Kenny: Oh my God.

Garrett: So, you know, he got that tan khaki color, you know, he's kinda ashy looking, he's pretty messed up, kind of a creature feature. Um, he got them weird looking legs, he's pretty tall, and this one didn't fly away, right? Just kinda looked at him, eyeballed him.

Kenny: No, this one just kept walking.

Garrett: so there you go. Just, you know, crackhead with some drywall stilts, possibly a trench coat.

Um, you know, not wings, but, you know, close enough. Maybe he's one of those creepy homeless dudes who has the trash bags, like, taped around his legs. There you go. Now the flat ears part, , that's, perhaps he was wearing two tube socks taped to his head. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA No, really, use that imagination here and picture what I am describing.

HAHA. Now [00:28:00] imagine seeing that Early in the morning While driving in your car. One would be puzzled.

Kenny: I almost feel it's more, plausible that it was a weird creature and not some strange homeless man.

Garrett: I have met some strange, homeless people in my days, and I would not put it past them for them to be cracked out on drywall stilts.

If, and for those who are, uh, listening only because this is not a, uh, video podcast, I am doing the, uh, speculative pyramid hands while speaking, saying, well, possibly it is a crackhead on drywall stilts.

Kenny: Oh God. Going back to Illinois.

Sighting in Des Plaines, Illinois

Kenny: On this next sighting, it was, this took place, , right outside of Des Plaines, Illinois. And this took place on a summer evening in 2013. So, the witness says that my son and I were leaving my friend's house, who lives right outside of Des Plaines, Illinois. [00:29:00] Her driveway is about a quarter mile long.

There are no lights along the driveway. About halfway to the road, my son yelled out, What's that? I was startled and slammed on my brakes. What are you yelling for? There, in the tree! I answered, what are you looking at? I glanced up into the tree and noticed talons wrapped along the large lower branch. The tree was thick with foliage, so it was hard to make out what it was.

I figured it was just an owl or an eagle. But as we watched, the tree began to move, like there was something very heavy in the tree. The headlights were pointed directly at the tree, so there was some light. Then suddenly, a human like figure dropped from a tree and landed right on the ground in front of us.

It was dark gray in color. . As I looked at the clawed feet and muscular legs, I noticed the bottom tip of folded wings behind it. My eyes followed the human like body, which looked like dark gray skin. The head and face literally reminded me of a [00:30:00] gargoyle. Snarling features and evil looking. The eyes were large and reflected an orange color. I believe it also had short horns on the side of the head. OMG. What is that? At the same time, my son, begged me. Let's go. Let's go. The beast opened its huge wings and literally took off up over the car. I called my friend to my cell phone as we were driving home. I told her what we witnessed and she was totally dumbfounded. She told me that she had never seen anything like that. While driving, I asked my son what he thought he saw. He called it a batman. I simply responded, okay, but I thought gargoyle or some other mythical creature. I was deeply affected by this beast and have carried this odd feeling that it would remember us. Now I've been reading about the sightings in Chicago and wonder if there's a connection. I fear that a terrible event may occur in the [00:31:00] city. My son is in college in Chicago, and I work downtown. I am scared for us. I swear what I have described is true. I wish to remain anonymous, and I don't seek any recognition. So, the son, you know, he called it a bat man.

Man bat. You know, very similar. But, obviously, I don't think any of the man bat descriptions Anything had horns on its head.

Garrett: No, I don't believe any did.

Kenny: So that's pretty, pretty interesting. Like, can you imagine you're just driving from your friend's house and then like a stereotypical gargoyle drops out of a tree right in front of your car and then like looks at you for a second and then it flies over.

Garrett: Yeah, that's, that's pretty sketch.

Gargoyle Sighting in Tampa, Florida

Kenny: Going to a different part of the country here. This is a sighting that was reported from tampa, florida So I had an incident in tampa, florida a wind creature sighting driving to work earlier in the morning It wasn't dark, but not quite daylight out Going [00:32:00] around a curve in a road, knowing I'm coming up to a light, it's always red and I always have to stop.

For one of the only times I can remember, I somehow was the first vehicle stopped at the intersection. I knew I needed to keep an eye on the light, so I'm looking up, waiting for it to turn green, and I just happen to catch something moving along to my left. It was flying from left to right, south to north. I won't lie, I did not get to see it for long, but in that one to three seconds, it was as clear as I could possibly imagine that it looked just like a gargoyle. Large, bat like wings, hands crutched up tight in front, legs kind of crutched up in as well, gliding along. The wings didn't flap. Now, I don't claim to have the world's greatest eye or be an expert on all things relating to distance, but I know what it looked like.

I'm certain of its size, which would be that of about a large man. And I know it wasn't that far in front of me. I had a lot of objects in my shore view to help get a good [00:33:00] perception. Could it have been anything else other than a gargoyle? Of course. I'm not crazy. That's just what it looked like.

Garrett: Hmm. So,

Kenny: not too climactic or dramatic or anything, but like just spotting it on your drive is crazy.

Garrett: mentioned, like, being shocked at first one to be at, like, the intersection at the light and all that stuff. So that kind of makes me think it's more of a highly populated area for traffic. Um, I wonder if anybody else noticed it.

Kenny: Who knows? I mean, if other people are on the road, they may have, but how many people are actually, like, looking up when they're driving? And especially in the morning, they're probably trying to get to work, so they're probably not looking at the sky.

Garrett: Now, are there any large bats native to Florida? Well,

Kenny: not [00:34:00] that I'm aware of, but definitely none the size of a large man. Hehe.

Garrett: was not the best and are not the expert on judging distances. Now, they did say there was things in the foreground and the background that they could measure with, roughly. But, would it be possible? Again, this is Florida. So you got to use Florida logic with this.

You got some drug dealer who got a Fox fruit bat as a pet. Cause he's slinging that fent and he thought it'd be cool. Cause he's high at the time. So we bought this fruit bat on, on like, I don't know, Torrent or something. And so he's got a large Australian fruit bat. He's slinging that crack. And he's smoking that fent, shooting that shit, whatever, snorting it, and just as one does.

Regardless, he gets high, leaves the door open, fruit back, go out that door. Now you got this bitch, [00:35:00] saying she saw a gargoyle, but really it's just a, uh, uh, fentanyl slinging crackhead. Uh, he got a fruit bat on the dark web, and it flew out the window, or door.

Kenny: Uh. Oh

Garrett: Or, and hear me out again, monkey on a hang glider laughs

Kenny: Uh.

Garrett: Well you think about it, so as you get cracked out you get in that flow state while you're on the crack and you start going through the Leonardo da Vinci catalog or whatever hell inventions and you start looking at his old hang gliders that look like that bat shit that you saw on , Assassin's Creed Brotherhood and you, , start getting creative with some old hefty trash bags and some balsal wood and you, uh, we're in Florida.

So, you know, there be some monkeys running around sometimes, you know, cause you know, like after Katrina and shit and you know, all that stuff went out and there's been sightings of, uh, different primates and stuff in the Everglades. [00:36:00] Who's to say? Crackhead. Again, because it's just more amusing. And I don't think anybody sober really has the, uh, Um, work ethic for this project.

But, um, Let's just say, Crackhead goes out in the Everglades, Smoking his shit, as one does. Finds one of the monkeys. Takes said monkey, and, uh, beats it over the head, knocks it out. Uh, takes some hefty trash bags, cause, you know, man's a scientist. He's over here reading Leonardo da Vinci's stuff, and uh, he's getting, getting creative in that flow state while he's, while he's cracked out.

And, uh, he takes some balsa wood, cause he, He's a hobbyist as well, and he likes to make model airplanes. So he, he's recreates Leonardo da Vinci's glider, the back glider, duct tapes, or super glue. Perhaps one does not know, but [00:37:00] the logic of a crackhead is off the wall. So he takes it in the inner machinations of his mind.

He has this, this ideal, uh, piece of work he wants to work on. He's in the flow state on the crack and he lets it go. And this bitch sees it.

Kenny: Oh my god,

Garrett: Just sayin

Kenny: that's uh,

Garrett: It's a possibility. It's out

Kenny: that's quite the hypothesis there.

Garrett: Hey, if I could think about it, who's to say some crackhead didn't?

Kenny: Oh

my

Garrett: That was on the spot.

Kenny: Extemporaneous

Garrett: Quite indubitably.

Crackhead Theories and Final Thoughts

Kenny: One thing of note that I thought was interesting was How some of these monsters or gargoyles have been flying but they haven't been flapping their wings Obviously like the NASA gargoyle He said it was flapping and he heard the flapping sounds, it made like weird, crackling noises when it was flying.

But a lot of them, like the one in Rockford, and a lot of these others, and throwing back to some of these [00:38:00] man bat sightings, is the wing, , they just fly, or even take off, but the wings don't move. They just seem to glide somehow.

Garrett: True, which is very prevalent in even a lot of the Mothman stories as well, even going back to like some of the really old ones. They don't really mention flapping or any sort of thing. It's just like the wingspan opens and it just, poof, takes off.

Kenny: Yeah, I don't know what it is with these flying humanoids, but, like, they just They don't, a lot of them don't seem to need to flap their wings, they can just yeet themselves into the sky

Garrett: I have a theory.

Kenny: Oh my

Garrett: on a hang glider just ate beans, ripped ass and went, weee! Possibly. With a monkey Okay, so you go back to that crackhead in Florida in Tampa He took that crack gave it that little crack monkey And he shot it up full of the fent and ate up gave it a bunch of Heinz beans And then he he shook it up like a soda it farted and he let go and went Kind of like when you're a kid messing around with like one of them [00:39:00] the little airplanes that you wind up with the rubber band It was with beans

Kenny: God. Overall though, what are your thoughts on what people are seeing? Besides crackhead monkeys with hang gliders and umbrellas and duct tape.

Garrett: Um, my honest opinion is that, um, if they saw anything at all, if these stories are like at face value, maybe a, a different dimensional being or something like that, if at all, um, Cause, uh, the lack of it. physical evidence to any of sightings or, uh, any other, uh, humanoids that, uh, you know, be flying around Chicago area, um, or, uh, Tampa with the crack monkey.

Um, um, yeah, honestly, I just, [00:40:00] I don't know is a way that I would answer that. Yeah. I do not know. I'll leave it at that.

Kenny: Yeah, I definitely think that people are seeing something. Now whether or not That's just a hallucination, or a ultradimensional being, or some kind of unknown cryptid. I'm not sure,

Garrett: a crack induced inventor who was, uh, yeah, getting creative. With drywall stilts and different primates. And duct tape.

Kenny: God. But, yeah, so I think people are seeing something. The question is, what are they seeing, and I don't really know. But, all I do know is that, if I had some of these. Experiences myself. I don't know if I would be as nonchalant as [00:41:00] the people in rocker me like Oh a

Garrett: Yeah, just look up and, is that gargoyle? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, just, just one word answer is just, Hmm, Gargoyle? Hmm, yeah, Gargoyle.

Kenny: That's just like kind of crazy,

but interesting anyway   

So overall, reading all these sightings of gargoyles from all the way back to the 1800s to the original, more dragon like being in the 7th century,

, I think all these sightings are very interesting, , At the very least they're good entertainment, if nothing else.

Garrett: It gave me the nice mental image of a crackhead playing with duct tape and shoe glue. And a monkey. Per

Kenny: did everyone else,

Garrett: yeah, if perhaps not even a monkey What's not to say he didn't have a raccoon with mange or that he covered with nair and then went from there Yeah

Kenny: [00:42:00] But yeah, it's very interesting. And I thought the similarities of the Wisconsin man bat sightings and these gargoyle sightings were pretty interesting. I think there's probably some kind of connection there. And I don't know what it is with the Midwest and these flying humanoids. Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota.

Like, what is with all this? What's flying around over there?

Garrett: crackheads on hang gliders

Kenny: All right. If you've enjoyed this episode of enter the rift

Garrett: Otherwise known as my autistic rants

Kenny: that to share it with your friends, leave a comment , let us know what you think, , have a good one.

Garrett: Peace[00:43:00]